and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
