Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
