Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
So apparently I’m into choking now
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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