well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
