Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
