a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
