As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I will be naked everywhere
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
