If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
