WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
