Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just found puke in my bra..
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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