Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
