Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
kristin has been a bad kristin
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
My ass is underappreciated
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
