Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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