I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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