Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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