His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Randomize
