His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
