I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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