is your mom at the bar?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
