So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
