this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
