Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
