so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
