she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
zippers are such a cool invention
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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