I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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