I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
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