I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
