1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
