you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
