I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
