can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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