the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Randomize
