Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
