oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
