Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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