Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
