in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
