I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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