Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
