Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Green mimosas i think yes
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
