Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
