just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
