when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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