Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
