he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
