I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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