when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
