Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Randomize
