Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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