Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
