my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
