yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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