you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
