My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
